To mark Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week, Emma Dorman, Senior Education Coordinator CYP Education Lead at Jami, spoke to Adam, who, alongside his partner, Amy, received support from Jami during the critical post-pregnancy period. Here, she reveals why their story resonates with her.
Although the postpartum period lasts for a year – and during this time, mental illness is the most common complication – the support given to new mums often disappears within weeks of them giving birth.
Adam reached out to Jami in desperation, after struggling to navigate various local and NHS services. He describes the time as “hazy” and a “minefield”. It’s unsurprising, given how hectic this experience can be. Under normal circumstances, having a baby upends your life. Imagine, therefore, how much harder it must have been for those, such as Amy and Adam, who gave birth during the Covid pandemic.
Emma’s experience
I had my first child at the exact same time. Many of the usual supports and appointments weren’t available. Most of the information online wasn’t pandemic appropriate or took social distancing into account. It left me feeling abandoned by services and often with nowhere to turn, as family weren’t allowed into the home. Self-care was also a challenge as the usual opportunities were similarly unavailable.
Adam and Amy’s story
Adam described navigating the early days of newborn life alongside Amy’s struggles with depression, anxiety and possible PTSD. We know that some women experience trauma in birth. However, although giving life is such an ubiquitous experience, it is apparent that people forget the toll it can take. Those who need to talk are often too busy with a newborn to find the time to think or process their experience, let alone reach out for support. After having my own child, I reached out to other new mums, curious about their experiences. One sent me a voice note. After about 15 minutes of telling me her labour story, she ended with, “I only meant to send you a quick note. I didn’t realise how much I needed to talk.”
Adam turned to Jami when the situation reached crisis point, including a stay in A&E and a crisis prevention home. We can only imagine the stress Adam held, balancing the challenges of looking after a new baby with concerns for his wife’s mental health and his own. Adam reflected how quick the response from Jami was and how, in addition to Amy receiving support, he was also offered support through our carers’ service.
When speaking to one of our team about support for Amy, Adam recalled how he was asked, “And how about you?”. He says he hadn’t thought of himself as a carer, but he found the carers’ support group and one-to-one support invaluable. “It’s just a chance to listen to other people,” he explained. “And it can be quite cathartic. You can support each other.”
Reach out for support
At Jami, we’re shining a light on maternal mental health so that people like Adam and Amy know they’re not alone. We spoke to Luciana Berger, chair of the Maternal Mental Health Alliance, about the importance of maternal mental health. She said, “Everyone has a role to play when it comes to recognising and supporting new and expectant parents with their mental health. Maternal mental health problems are really treatable. With the right care and support, it is possible to fully recover and enjoy being a parent.”
Wherever you are on your postpartum journey, if you need support, please reach out. There are many organisations available, providing a range of support. Many are part of the Maternal Mental Health Alliance and you can find out more here maternalmentalhealthalliance.org/about-maternal-mental-health/support-mums-and-families/
During your pregnancy, don’t hesitate to mention to your midwife if you are struggling with your mental health. I did, and was put in contact with a mental health midwife. Postpartum, mention any of your concerns to your health visitor. They can refer you for support if needed. I found services particularly responsive in the postpartum period.
Both partners may need support at this time. Think together about your network and think ahead if you can. Consider who you can rely on, or reach out to, if needed. Having a group of new mum friends was a massive support to me. Trade messages and ask for advice. Antenatal and parent groups are great places to find support and connection throughout the pregnancy and postpartum journey. They help remind us of that vitally important feeling – “You’re not alone.”
For more information about Jami’s services, visit jamiuk.org/get-support/what-we-do/
